I think scott just propositioned me for sex
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
