Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
