Heybabeimwearingurpanties
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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