Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
