did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
