Small penises have feelings too.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
