Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
