Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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