OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I licked your asshole in confidence.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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