he wants to bone in the snuggie
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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