If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
