God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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