Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
