Screwed.edu
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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