Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I want to be your penis for a week.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
