at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
