Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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