He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
