if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The maid of honor just puked.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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