I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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