Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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