dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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