Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
