You smell like stripper and shame
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
