Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
