guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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