This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
