Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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