i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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