So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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