i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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