another moral hangover. fuck.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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