Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize