Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
