I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
