Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
