Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
