I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
