So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
