I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize