I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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