NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
