if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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