Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
