It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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