Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(620): View more from Kansas

Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.

(1-620): View more from Kansas

No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis

Fav 22 4153 975
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(563): View more from Iowa

please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

..im mad u rememberd about that

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire

Fav 10 5422 1993
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.

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(409): View more from Texas

You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip

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(630): View more from Illinois

I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.

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