the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
