my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
