puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
