yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We had sex on a dog bed..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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