so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
