Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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