Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
