he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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