She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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