I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
