youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
