4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize