My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize