I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
