I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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