I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
