dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
