I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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