Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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