8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
