if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
