My nipple is on Facebook.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize