Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
